#DNAisNotRequired

DNA is not required

August 5, 2009 – Only a single PT was required for me to know that I was blessed with the gift of life. That day I started looking into the future and dreaming of a happy family of my own. I was happy to know that I was bearing a life in my womb yet I was scared because my relationship with the father of my child wasn’t going well. I was already a career woman yet I was only 21 years old.

My pregnancy went to a different experience not common to others. I had less morning sicknesses and cravings. However, I was emotionally battered. My relationship with the father of my child isn’t a happy one. It was nine full months of hurt and pain. I will not go into detail, yet I want to emphasize that it was a pregnancy that I hope no one would go through.

Everyday, I just thank the Lord of giving me one of the finest blessings, bearing a child. I go to church and pray that I would be able to protect him as much as the Lord protected me. I prayed that I would love him just as much as the Lord loved me. On March 15, 2010, my little angel came to see the world. It was a joyous moment, I can’t help but remember how little he was, how fragile his bones are and how beautiful this miracle of life is. He was more than a treat, he became the only reason for my life. Accompanied with my joy was my fear of not being able to embody a good mother to him. I went so afraid – that now that he’s no longer in my womb – I always worry and ask, will I be able to protect him and love him well? May the Lord guide me. 2 months after his birth, I became a single mother, no strings attached. From that day, I swore to the almighty that I will do everything I can in the Lord’s power to provide, protect and love my son the way he deserves to be.

I didn’t grow up in a well-heeled family. I came from rags and needed to work my way up before having my own career. When I had my little angel, I only focused on making sure his life wouldn’t be an epitome of what I had in the past. I prayed to break the curse of poverty in our line. I wanted him to have a better life and not take responsibilities that I should be accountable for. Little did I know God was already creating a story for us, a story to good to be true.

2 years after childbirth

I decided to go back to the corporate world because I had little income working home-based and online and my son is growing up. I had to provide more for him and prepare his future. It was definitely a painful moment for me. I was 6hours away from my son. I prayed to the Lord that he lead me the way to make us whole again one day. After 8 months, I was able to put up a place for me and my son and hired a nanny. Now it was just an hour ride from work and I’m home with my little angel.

The corporate world is always a troubled world with class and being a single mom was no excuse for peace. Alot tried to burn down my walls and tried to come to my world but all of them failed. It just wasn’t on my list. I didn’t want my son to be attached to anyone who doesn’t want to be there for us forever, from suitors to lovers or even friends. I do talk about my son alot and this paved way to get to know a charming young man. He liked me, I didn’t feel the same way. We were of the same age, but he was still young at heart. He wanted to do lots of things but I already wanted to plan my future. This was not yet on his book.

We were working on the same department and I enjoyed his company. We became closer and I started to see how a good friend and son he was. I started talking about my life and he listened. Then we started dating but it didn’t work out. I was a mom, who have a future planned while he was a boy who have to enjoy his life. I left and made a vow to church everyday. Everyday I prayed that the Lord guide me and protect my son. I prayed that I may be able to make the right choices so that it may go well with my son. I thanked the Lord for being there for us all the time; For a short time, that charming man made me happy. He was a sweet treat. I prayed that this young man choose the path of happiness and God’s glory. Everyday at church before going to work I was happy. I had peace and I was calm.

I chose to try again.

It took a while and we saw each other again, he wanted to try one more time. After all, my feelings have not died and so I asked the Lord to help me make the right decisions to make things workout. I started right away to letting him understand that my son is my priority and if he wants to be part of my life, my little man should also be his concern. I just wanted him to go all the way in getting close to my son to see if he can be part of our lives. It was definitely hard for him. He is a single man after all and he was young. I was not laying out any responsibilities to him. It was all new to him. But it all changed.

This charming man grew up in a family oriented environment – a dream I always had when I was little. He loved his family so much, most especially his mom. His friends always sees him to be this guy who drinks and climb mountains with them. A guy they can always call. A guy who always makes the mood light and happy. Little did they know, that he was also a good son. He is badass (in a good way) around his friends. But he is a kind man with a good heart when it comes to his family. They were his priority.

He loved children and I was touched. I may know how hard it is to be raised in a broken home but he knew how rewarding it is to be part of a family and he was able to apply that to being with my son. He did not tag himself as the father of my child but they were close buddies. They wrestle, they play hide and seek, they build plane and car legos, they watch cartoons, they play ball and ride bikes, they color and study together. Things I never thought could ever happen. This charming man had it in him, a figure of a man who can protect and love a child like his own. I loved him more for it.

My son is always happy around him. During the first moments they had he called him “Tito (Uncle)”. He always wanted to call tito and play with tito. When we go to the mall he always think we’re gonna meet him there. When we go to church, he waits to see if tito is coming. After showing me his star stamp from school he would also ask me to take a picture of it to show it to tito. I can see how much of an impact his tito makes to him. Besides, he is the only manly figure brought forth to our life.

Only recently did my son call my partner “Daddy”. It started from the therapy session we both attended. My son was so eager to let all his teacher get to know his tito. He called them one by one and introduced my partner, he was trying to introduce him as tito but it sounded to his therapists as daddy. Selfishly, I smiled. After a few introductions, they went back to study. I asked then my partner how he felt being called daddy and it was all “cool” with him. And so I asked again and said, “Do you think it would be too much if my son called you daddy?” He said no it’s ok and we should just wait for Cloud to learn it and eventually he did.

Present-day, everytime this charming man calls he always asks for Cloud, how he is. He never fails to include my son in his future plans. My partner, has still alot of things he would love to do. Travel the world, play video games, climb mountains, drink with buddies, etc. and I don’t hold it against him because in all of those plans, he always wanted see the interest it brings for my little boy. He wants to climb mountains with Cloud, play video games with him, drink with him when the time is right, travel the world through a Suzuki Jimny with him.

My partner does not treat his relationship with me as a package deal. He treats everything before me a bonus and that’s something.

Some have asked me, what if one day it all falls to pieces? I do not worry. It may come to that, who knows what God has planned for us but whether it be a happily together ending or not, the journey we had with this charming man is worth it. I wouldn’t exchange it for anything. Seeing my son happy is the greatest accomplishment a mother can have. And he is happy and that’s all that matters. One thing I know is that I have a “family” with my partner and my son and that’s more than DNA, that’s more than thicker blood. I love my son so much that I know God lead me to the right choice of loving my partner the way God wants me to. I trust the Lord with our lives.

I’m a single mom with a 5 year old son. He is a single man with a whole life ahead of him. We have been together for more than 4 years (in total) now. I call us a family not on paper, not by blood and not on DNA but by God’s perfect love. It’s not the best sight but it is a happy one and we are blessed.

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